| "avoiding conflict." |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|11:21 am] |
I was talking to one of my friends the other day, who said that their personality type was that they liked to "avoid conflict." And they gave examples that this personality type is recognized by a certain author/doctor/philosopher or whatever, and that there are benefits to avoiding conflict. So I had certain opinions about it or against it and sort of debated it out.
If your goal is to avoid conflict, that's okay. But can you do it?
There are two basic situations: 1) there is a future conflict, 2) there is a present conflict.
If you foresee a conflict before it arises, then you can take the measures to prevent it. That's pretty simple: if you're perceptive enough, or have the insight to do so, then you are able to prevent the conflict.
However, most of the time conflict just happens, it arises out of your control. So when conflict is already present, what does "avoiding the conflict" do? Does it actually help? When a conflict already exists and you avoid it, that is not avoiding conflict, that is avoiding confronting the conflict, which in the end can create multiple other conflicts. The conflict is there whether you deal with it or not. Therefore, that is the fundamental confusion behind this theory: when a conflict already exists and you avoid it, you are not avoiding the conflict, you are avoiding confronting the conflict. The result is that it gets worse.
So if your goal is to avoid conflict, and "avoiding conflict" creates more conflicts, then really you aren't avoiding conflict. Therefore it is not a worthy philosophy. We try to prevent conflict whether we have the philosophy of "avoiding conflict" in our minds or not. So if that particular element is present without that philosophy, and it is the only worthy thing about that philosophy, and other components of that philosophy actually do not work but are troublesome, then what is the point of holding that way of thinking? |
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| being funny |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|11:12 am] |
I really get the feeling sometimes that people don't like it when I'm nice. It's boring to them. I don't like sugar-coating things so guess what, it saves me an extra step, I can be just directly honest now.
I think comedians get into the habit of making people laugh from an early age in order to get people to like them, or to get attention, or whatever. When that habit grows over time alot of weight rests on it. You start getting friends based on their being entertained by you, so when you fail to be entertaining anymore they leave. It's sort of a depressing thing, and you don't know which side to show to which people, what the results will be, or whatever. You are always checking and obsessing. And if you're able to get rid of that neurosis then in the end you're just left with a set of skills that was initially created by a desperate need to fit in. |
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| anger. |
[Jun. 11th, 2009|01:07 pm] |
For the past two years or so when someone insulted me, fucked with me, or whatever, I'd do what a rational person would do and just say nothing back, use it to practice patience. The reason is, you always have it in your hands to end the conflict right there, it always just takes a tiny bit of effort and it doesn't escalate into a fight.
Lately I've toyed with the idea of semi-responding back, because I want people to know how I feel, and I want them to know the results of what they've said or done to me, or whatever. Basically it's for communication purposes, and because relating to people is extremely tough if you don't tell them how you feel, and ultimately if you say nothing you get in this repressive sort of frame of mind. Actually at my core I am an asshole, I nitpick and analyze and super criticize, that's what I have to start with. So I let it flow, it's already there so I just guide the direction it flows in, don't repress/push-it-away it but don't let it get out of control.
Lately I am definitely seeing some issues with this, more fights with people, more bitterness and perfectionist attitude, only focusing on the flaws of people and not having the patience to deal with imperfections or whatnot. It seems more natural to brush people off or not be disturbed about having quarrels, of flat out "not liking" people, etc. Which is difficult to do when you have the practice of trying to develop compassion in your mind, which I still meditate on.
So I don't know, life is easier but it's not. It's easier to get into fights but I don't like it. It's hard to find a balance. When I practice too much Buddhist stuff it seems like I alienate myself from others, but when I don't then it ends up happening anyway. I am a weird person, and I can practice molding myself for others, but other times no. What you see is what you get; a paranoid, fascist, vulgar sense of humor oddball. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|03:26 pm] |
Apparently some people never learned that:
1. Having an open mind is extremely important.
If you don't have an open mind then you don't try new things. When you don't try new things then it is logically impossible to improve, or to move on, or to do ANYTHING. Every single technological, creative, scientific advancement was a result of trying something new; it's not profound, it's very simple.
2. Using logic is extremely important.
If you don't investigate or use logic then you won't be able to tell what to accept or reject. It means you have absolutely no way to navigate through a mess of information; you have no control, you don't know what's true or what's not true, you don't have the mental faculties to reach your own goals.
If a person can't reach the level of understanding just to establish those two BASIC things, I don't know what to say. If a person thinks those two things aren't important, then they're wrong. However you can't prove it to them because they already won't listen to logic, which is their basis for not liking it. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2009|10:30 am] |
"What is the meaning of life?" As soon as you look for a meaning or non-meaning you are imputing something which is at least relative, or better off doesn't exist. Meaning in relationship to what? What's the "meaning" of a car dealership? It gives cars to some people in some city but what about the rest of the universe? Which life, yours or in general? If in general then what is the "meaning" of a tree's life? How can something that just "grows" and doesn't make decisions have any sort of "meaning" or "non-meaning?"
It's not specific. When it's not specific then the question doesn't bring a valuable answer. In fact, that entire question itself just throws a projection onto something which normally is very natural, "life" or "being here," and almost forces one to accept the imputation created by the question itself in order to answer it -- finding a meaning or a non-meaning. Which is why it's difficult to answer, which is why the answers can be debated, which is why when someone thinks they have an answer someone else can strike it down, which is why when someone says "there is no meaning" it results in disappointment. It's not that there's "no meaning," it's just not how the situation exists (meaning/non-meaning), so there's no reason to feel disappointment when you don't find a meaning. Being alive is a phenomenon that's here and is the way it is regardless of whether you can see it or not see it or what you think about it. A raccoon's meaning of life doesn't change even though it doesn't have the capacity to ask the question.
A more relevant question is "what should I do?" "What should I do" changes with circumstances. When you start getting into that answer then you get into much deeper or meaningful thinking, almost strategizing, applying philosophy, etc. You determine a course of action and apply the method to achieve it. That's all "life" is really, making decisions and seeing the results.
"What is the meaning of life" is one of those questions I was asked in something like Intro to Philosophy in college, and the question brought me nowhere, like many of the questions I was asked in various college courses. If I were back in college now I wouldn't see any other way of handling it than tearing the questions apart, and whether the teacher got it or not, applying patience. The question really, really isn't profound and my way of answering it isn't supposed to be deep, it's just a reminder that questions have that effect, that things aren't so simple, that whatever comes across your mind you have to investigate. I don't like these sort of entries at all because I am absolutely no authority on them, but I saw the question and wanted to tackle it. |
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| Your Disney Online Account |
[May. 4th, 2009|03:32 pm] |
Dear swineflu911,
We are writing to inform you that inappropriate language has been found within a chat log attached to your account, shown below:
11:42:02 : you stole my meadow grass you cunt
11:46:00 : get off my tree you dyke
11:59:02 : Fuck you
12:00:00 : Betty you look like a cunt
12:06:03 : i like white me at
12:07:05 : i know where you can put that twig
12:07:05 : in my snatch |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2009|02:12 pm] |
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Seeing HH the Dalai Lama tomorrow at Gillette Stadium. I have about 16 hours to clean up my act. |
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| Total |
[Apr. 25th, 2009|03:55 pm] |
I was watching TV last night and this commercial for Total Cereal came on. Basically it started out by dissing Kashi Go-Lean Crunch, which is actually one of the healthiest cereals out there, and then by saying "Total provides 100% of the vitamins and minerals you need." And it goes down the side of the box to show Vitamin A: 100%, Vitamin C 100%, etc. For anyone who knows anything about nutrition they understand how fucking completely stupid this is. 100% means 100% of the recommended daily value (by the FDA I think), and it can go beyond 100%, and you can get that from a multivitamin anyway, and the fiber and antioxidants Kashi provides far surpasses any artificially "thrown in" vitamins Total can add.
What's the point? Why the fuck would you say your cereal is healthier if you know it isn't. If it's your product and you market it, do you really have the pride and stupidity to lie to yourself and to your customers just to make money? You absolutely know you are wrong but you either convince yourself otherwise (thereby making yourself dumber), or you flat out lie to your customers knowing that you're wrong. This is something I see all the time. It is definitely a downfall of capitalism, which partly relies on the fact that consumers are stupid. Actually, this sounds like a rant against consumerism but really it has nothing to do with it, it has to do with the garbage people poison their own minds with in order to reach whatever pointless ends they think will make them happier. It's not about "these people are dishonest, let's bring them down," it's about look at how people completely blow away their own potential. |
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| Baron |
[Mar. 31st, 2009|12:08 pm] |
Baron Abraham's Greatest Hits is done, which is an album I've been working on. Going to spruce up the site and arrange a good track listing, then I'll post it and link it around. I had to drink alot. It feels like I almost have brain damage right now. Need some major liver detox time.
OK, for people who think I've had my thumbs up my ass for the past year or so, you're right, but you won't be let down here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2009|03:15 pm] |
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i had a dream last night that an old man trapped me in a cage and repeatedly raped me |
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| convo |
[Jan. 17th, 2009|03:44 pm] |
1/16/09: Watching Casper (the kid's movie), drinking.
Some ghost in the movie: "He came back as a ghost because he had a strong desire for something, unfinished business [...]"
Me: (remarking) "Isn't it weird that every culture has almost the same concept of a ghost? Like, even if they're in totally different parts of the world?"
Sister: "Yeah I know."
Friend: "It's the same thing with dragons."
Sister: "Yeah, every culture has their own concept of dragons too."
Me: "... That was a huge buzz kill. I wish you didn't say that. Fuck. That was a HUGE buzz kill." |
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| beating around the bush |
[Jan. 9th, 2009|01:05 pm] |
People enjoy writing when it's convoluted, twists your mind around, uses words or phrases you don't entirely understand, or it seems intricate. I used to sort of write like that. That's writing without a point. When you're writing without a point then it has no essence. If you're writing with the point of looking good or intelligent or messing with people's heads just for the sake of doing so then after it's over what are you left with? Disappointment and the need to do it again. When you're writing with a point then your method is concentrated on accomplishing its goal, which means the writing is direct. When people can't understand what you're saying or have to continually look up words and ultimately are focused on the style more than the content then what's the purpose? It doesn't mean that writing shouldn't be an art, it means that people make it an art in the wrong place and time when it shouldn't be. Just get to the point, be direct, don't convolute meanings and twist words; with all the time you could spend on that you could spend it on analyzing the point you're trying to get across in the first place, which increases your understanding and allows you to say it in fewer words. Sorry but my beef lately is with people who act like they're intelligent when really they're not. I used to be one of them, now I just don't pretend because I know I'm an idiot. Whether you act intelligent or not it doesn't change your actual level, it only affects your ego, which affects your clarity of mind, which affects your intelligence. If an intelligent person can't figure that out then they aren't intelligent.
Beating around the bush is something I have no tolerance for lately. Part of that is my own lack of patience but part of it is practical too -- why don't people just get to the point? Life is so short and it's wasted on so much bullshit, dancing around issues, avoiding things, wallowing in guilt or stupid emotions. Have conviction, when you do something do it 100%, and if you aren't sure about it then make yourself sure about it or else don't do it. Everything I do is to the extreme and you know what? sometimes it's too intense, sometimes I look fucked up, but I don't care because I'll live by that philosophy. If you know a building is on fire then you focus 100% on getting out. If you aren't sure if it's on fire then you focus 100% on finding out, and when you find out you run out the door 100%, not half-way. You don't go into the main lobby, walk down the hall, out the door, and stop at the bushes. When my house is on fire I kick the bushes down. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2008|11:17 am] |
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Note to others: whenever you write an angry email, save it, read it an hour later, then decide whether to send it. I just saved myself ALOT of embarrassment. And you will too : ) |
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| Swearing is not negative. |
[Dec. 29th, 2008|03:39 pm] |
Let's make this very simple. And it's only because the topic arose with a few people. And if you think it's you then it's not.
Swearing is not bad in itself. There are the words like shit, crap, and poo, they all refer to exactly the same thing, the only difference is the weight they carry. The weight they carry is learned culturally, which in itself varies from culture to culture, and proves that words lack an intrinsic quality of being offensive. But the fact that it carries weight is ultimately because you believe the word does, your own mind creates that weight. Proof of this is some people can be offended by "shit" and some people won't -- very simple. Also there are times that you are comfortable or uncomfortable with swears, it changes. Therefore when you hear a swear and you aren't accepting of it or try to push it away, or you're offended by it, that most likely has absolutely nothing to do with the swear or the source it came from, but from you. Therefore you can get used to hearing swears and create some sort of understanding about them, or you can believe your own mental projections that they are "bad" and enter your own game of cowering and writhing away from your own projections. The latter has nothing to do with the swear or the outside world at all, it's just you. Therefore when you swear at others sometimes it has the possibility of cutting their fears and mental habits and getting them to see things differently. People hold onto certain definitions of the way things are and sometimes when you challenge those they can flip out, go crazy, laugh, or learn something -- it depends on the method or situation. When something carries great weight in a person's mind they create that own weight with their afflicted perception, and simultaneously if that something has more weight a person will listen more closely to that and the word will penetrate, so why not use that object of great weight in order to show them how they think? Sometimes if you're nice they won't listen, if you write it out they won't listen, so why not just take a cutting approach and go right to the source?
And then for other people there's no tolerance for swearing at all, or it's better to be "safe than sorry," so out of understanding you cater your own speech to their narrow comfort zone, even when you have the insight that swearing isn't inherently a bad thing. And chances are if the individual can't handle swearing then their perceptiveness is quite low in the first place, which means they won't recognize or appreciate the fact that you're catering to their narrow comfort zone anyway, but in the end you recognize and understand this all anyway. When you cultivate a dynamic mind then it can cater to all sorts of weirdos with different narrow comfort zones.
And so you have people like Bill O'Reilly who won't (normally) swear, but they yell "shut up" or "shut your mouth" with hatred and harmful intent. So it's okay to increase your own anger, insult others, or to create gossip, or to use speech that creates a negative result, as long as you don't say about seven naughty words while doing so? That is called a neurosis. It is not based on logic and it does not accomplish its goal of creating speech which helps yourself or others. You can say "fuck you" affectionately or you can say "you're a silly goose" with malice, there are many different circumstances and different people. So while people like to keep things a certain way, or "my way," which is incomprehensible in the first place since things are constantly in a stage of change, that certain way is not reality. Reality is dynamic. Maybe they're taught that this language is a certain way and there are these certain meanings and if you pray to this certain thing then it's like a controlled game where everything works out. But for anyone who's experienced anything outside of that, which is probably everyone since 99.99% of the universe is outside of it, then those things are worth at least looking at if not throwing out. It's not that those things aren't beneficial, it's that they shouldn't create binding ways of seeing the world, if they do then they aren't as beneficial as they could be, it comes down to your perception.
Therefore, either the effect of your speech is positive or it isn't. You determine it beforehand based on the circumstances. Sometimes you have the perceptiveness to tell beforehand, sometimes you don't and make a mistake. Therefore you keep your awareness sharp and your mind open. When you dull down your awareness or avoid facts because you think they might result in discomfort or pain, then ultimately you are creating the causes for both your own stupidity and the resulting lack of ability to see things dynamically and with a sharp mind, which results in suffering for both yourself and others. So either the effect of your speech is positive or it isn't. Sometimes it's better to avoid swearing -- very simple. Sometimes it's better to swear.
Apply it to everything, words are easy. Apply it to subjects like sex, violence, or whatever in films. What's the difference between a word and the concept of something like "sex"? Concepts are something your mind creates. First off, movies aren't real. When people struggle with watching something exciting in a film then usually they can't even recognize that fact, myself included. So after acknowledging that: If the film is referring to something real like "sex," then either this thing happens outside the film or it doesn't, and either the film portrays it accurately or it doesn't. It doesn't matter how you react to it, if that thing is out there then it's out there, and if it's not out there then why worry in the first place? When your own mind struggles with it, that is you and not the film or the filmmakers. If you see a monster in a film, so what? It's not real. If you see sex then so what? It happens. If you see poverty in places like Africa and it makes you uncomfortable then so what? It's out there whether you can perceive it or not.
But then there are aspects of films which actually do create harm, they could be giving false information or manipulating minds in a negative way, like propaganda for example. So people will eat up stuff like propaganda and buy into bullshit like wars, and it creates a direct perception of their hating other human beings, but if someone says "fuck" on the news it's like the world is ending? If someone flashes a tittie on live TV, even though all women have them, people take out their guns? There's quite a few Hollywood movies created from a racist perspective and delivering a racist view to the audience, whether directly or indirectly, and there are no swears whatsoever. There's shit like Indiana Jones with an asshole swinging his whip over god knows what, and in the mean time it has nothing to do with reality, but people might even apprehend the world as being adventurous or cool like that and that alone can cause delusions. It's all "good guys" and "Nazis". Creating that polarity in people's minds, I believe, makes them stupid. So there's all this escapist crap, propaganda, things that actually cause harm to others, and people gobble it up because it fits into their narrow comfort zone. But god forbid, you throw some swears in a movie, some violence, you challenge the way people think by facing people with the same definitions they hold tightly onto, and they throw a bitch fit, they want to nail you to a cross. I've made all sorts of media with naughtiness and swearing in it, most of it many years old in the first place, if people don't like it they don't have to watch it. I've had so many people get turned off, or think I'm an idiot, or think I'm onto something, I really don't care. I care about people's minds. I have my own issues to deal with and I'm no better, but at least I've trained in something and I can offer it, like a grocery bagger handling your groceries.
So, don't get offended by words alone, or by concepts. When you get past your own pet peeves and neuroses then you can actually look at the reality of it. When you can look at the reality of it then you can "get offended" at the right things, things that actually harm others, things that make other people stupid. If you get offended by words or your projections of things then you're not helping anyone, including yourself. Just having the intellectual understanding of that is excellent. People get offended either way though so there's no point in blaming yourself or others or repressing it, just create understanding. Just because it's difficult to not be offended doesn't mean it's someone else's fault when you're offended, it means you don't have the method. An approach of dealing with it is a different story. Just analyzing it alone is good enough though, I think.
This extra-long public service announcement was brought to you by an asshole. |
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